I’m not an Engineer. Am I?

I’m not an Engineer. Am I?

I never wanted to be an engineer. However, that decision was never mine to make for two reasons:

One: My Parents

            I had always wanted to be an architect my entire life. People say that even adults don’t know what they want to be, so how could a kid? Well, fuck you. I have an incredible amount of inconsistency in my life, but the one thing that has always been around is my dream of becoming an architect. I am a creative person and I am constantly in awe of beautiful houses, unique skyscrapers, and even ancient ruins. It seemed perfect.

            Ok, so I lied. In kindergarten I did put on the “All About Me” poster that I wanted to become a construction worker, but I think that was what I thought being an architect was. The word architect just wasn’t in my vocabulary yet. My family laughed of course, because who aspires to work as a construction worker, right? I don’t think any job is laughable, because as said in the movie Joy, there is no shame in hard work. My parents wanted me to be a dentist or a lawyer, because that is exactly what a creative person wants to do! Being an architect was an “unstable” career.

Two: It was in my Blood

            This seems like it would be connected to the first, but it’s not. My dad was an engineer and I despised the idea of being like him I guess. His dad was too, but they became engineers because they loved numbers and things being simple, with one answer. They didn’t understand the appeal of reading or any form of art. I thought, that wasn’t me. I can’t be an engineer. It actually went deeper than I thought. My mother’s brother works at Sikorsky and his father did the same. I was in too deep.

            I love reading and I think I might’ve forced myself to enjoy non-STEM classes too much. I took very hard humanities and english courses in high school, but as much as I’d hate to admit it, math and science came easier to me. It is not that I was Einstein, but I enjoyed most aspects of science and learning all about how things in the universe worked and why they did. I didn’t stay at home to do math puzzles, but I did sometimes find it satisfying to learn certain topics in math. What I try to say is that I had no escape—It was inevitable.

What’s Next

            So, against my childhood wishes, I am in school for engineering. I know it seems like a sad ending to the story, but trust me, this isn’t it for me. I am no engineer. I may think like one OCCASIONALLY, but I am no engineer. I’m too cool for that. So, I’ve decided that I will try a combined major in Civil Engineering and Architecture. I want to someday either build elaborate sustainable structures or temporary/permanent housing for refugees/natural disaster victims. I am not going to be like my family, but maybe a little.